At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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