I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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