Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize