So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
