So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
