How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
