I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
