It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize