I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
