thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
