they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
