giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Houston, we have a blender
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
please don't ironically join a cult
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