my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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