...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Your penis caused this!
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