then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
