I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I lost the right to judge tonight
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
