dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
