Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
