There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
