Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
