the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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