Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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