I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
