I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
