We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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