Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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