one two three fourrrrnication!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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