Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
