He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
