Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
