you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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