This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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