words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
