Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My vagina is officially offended.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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