Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
