I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
