Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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