Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just want to make out with him forever
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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