i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
