is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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