And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
