I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
