It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
