You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
