ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ketchup is God's man juice
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
