it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
