I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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