Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
