Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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