...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
