Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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