SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
