Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
