Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
