I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize