D3 body, D1 cock
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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