and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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