you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
