I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
