I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
