Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
