my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You made out with two different species that night
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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