I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
