; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
