Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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