Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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