so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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