hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
