I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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