what day is it and did you see me today?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
